Connie and Joe are inseparable.
They exchange knowing glances over their morning cup of coffee.
They share the morning paper - he grabs the Sport section while she thumbs through Business.
Connie playfully bumps Joe shoulder as they pass each other in the hall.
Connie and Joe are coworkers.
To See or Not to See
According to Vault, a media consulting service, 58% of polled office workers have witnessed extramarital affairs in the workplace, 38% have dealt with unwanted sexual advances, and 20% have dated a subordinate. These numbers are up all across the board from 2005. Office relationships used to put the human resources administrator in a bind. mall organizations suffer more than large companies do? states Arlene Vernon of HRX, in Eden Prairie, Minn. The office romance can turn the peace of a closely-knit little group inside out. With enough imagination and a bit of gossip, the ayberry?fling can morph into a eyton Place?tryst. Employees of larger organizations can get lost in the shuffle, making it easier to hide entanglements. Although two people romantically exchanging flowers and chocolates can be heartwarming, is it appropriate behind office walls? In addition, an efficient office environment is ideal but at what point does personnel scrutiny turn into an invasion of privacy?
The American Management Association believes that the 21st century office romance is almost impossible to avoid. Demanding work schedules have many corporate employees spending more time in the office and less time at home with their own families. Long hours, team projects, Happy Hour and other business-related socializing have blurred the professional/personal line, and many people are crossing it. Bottled up stress and sexual tension can also throw two unsuspecting employees together.
Playing Cubicle Cupid
Contrary to popular belief, more and more office relationships are ending up in trips down the aisle. Yes, marriages among coworkers are on the rise. San Francisco talk show host Dr. Marty Nemko is a staunch proponent of the office romance. Dr. Nemko is a frequent guest on The Today Show and is a sought after career coach who speaks from experience. He found his soul mate in the workplace. In an effort to foster professional trust and maintain business morale, employees and managers are using creative ways to minimize the angst of this event.
Since personnel managers are dealing with professionals, they are asking themselves:
1)What is the nature of the relationship? A supervisor/direct report romance is almost destined to run aground whereas a discreetly handled peer level romance may flourish.
2)Are all employees aware of the company office romance policy? This policy should be prominent in the office manual.
3)Will a consensual relationship agreement work? Calvin House, an attorney at Gutierrez, Preciado & House, suggests creating a consensual relationship agreement and making it accessible to employees. These ove contracts?can help inoculate a business from possible sexual harassment litigation.
After addressing these concerns, the personnel manager can then, without factoring in water cooler gossip, request full disclosure from the employees involved. He or she must be prepared to tactfully move and or reassign employees (especially in the case of supervisor/direct reports) if the office relationship becomes distracting or problematic.
Making it Work at Work
Employees are also making efforts to protect their professional collateral:
1)The office renup? a detailed document objectively describing the nature and expectations of the relationship, is gaining popularity. It should include strategies to minimize career impositions and indemnify each party should one decide to move on.
2)Using professional discretion: Involved coworkers must consider how others see their involvement. Though still widely, but secretly believed that the office is no place for romance, more people are tossing their hats in the ring and looking the other way. Discretion is the hallmark of an office professional and at no time is it more needed that this.
3)Setting ground rules and exercising self-control: A romantic public display of affection in the workplace can reflect poorly on those involved and taint a corporate environment. There is a time and place for everything.
4)Being upfront and above board. Coworkers that properly disclose their relationship to personnel managers stand a better chance of keeping their professional value intact. History has proven that truly meaningful relationships, entered into by sensible adults, can thrive ?- free from gossip and innuendo.
Twenty-first century office workers are making it clear that unless companies start to give employees more free time to nurture their personal lives, they will have to develop reasonable interpersonal strategies to keep everyone productive and less litigious. After all, people are only human and Cupid strikes quickly, every chance he gets.
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